Cyber bullying -- A new frontier in harrassment from www.pflag.org

With more youth coming out in early high school and even middle school, PFLAG chapters are seeing younger and younger parents who are dealing with issues many of us have not encountered before. One of those issues is cyber bullying. Chapters should be prepared with information and resources if a parent or youth encounters this new form of bullying.

Cyber bullying has been defined by the Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use to mean, "being cruel to others by sending or posting harmful material using the Internet or a cell phone."

New technologies have revolutionized communication and information, particularly for young people, and although the cyber world has been a great friend to the LGBT community by helping students gain access to information and support, it has also created new opportunities for bullying and harassment.

Cyber bullying may seem like the same old behavior using different means, but because this form of bullying can be done anonymously, it can take on very different qualities. Perpetrators, victims and bystanders have somewhat different roles in the process. The ability to resend emails and text messages create confusion about what has happened.

Terminology you should know:

• Flaming- online verbal attacks or fights via electronic messages, (e.g., in chat rooms) and using hostile and vulgar language.
• Harassment- repeated messages of an offensive or derogatory nature directed to a target.
• Cyber stalking- repeated messages of an intimidating character that make a person feel afraid for his or her physical safety.
• Denigration- online "put-downs," including sending or posting hurtful gossip or rumors to cause the target embarrassment.
• Impersonation- using someone's email account to send out messages, supposedly from the account holder, that reflect badly on that person and may cause trouble, shame, or embarrassment.
• Outing and Trickery- disclosure of someone's private information online, sending or posting embarrassing images, or deceptions leading another person to reveal personal details about him or herself.
• Exclusion- deliberately keeping someone out of an online group such as a buddy list or game.

It is important to talk to youth about the dangers of internet and phone usage early and often. Talk in terms of your values and beliefs - and don't forget to talk about the notion of privacy. While we focus on healthy and appropriate behavior, it is also important to teach kids how to protect themselves from harm and negative outcomes.

What parents should know:

• The internet is a place or location like the mall or a friend's house - don't send your children there without rules.
• Talk about values and ideas - privacy, respect, consequences, how do you know if something or someone is real?
• Insist that your children never share passwords with others.
• Know your own child's passwords and email accounts.
• Keep computers in open spaces.
• Set limits on the amount of time your child spends online and let them know that they should put their cell phones to bed at night (have a turn-off time).
• If something happens online, youth need to tell an adult immediately.
• It is easy for youth to have things escalate online - cyber bullying is more two-way than regular bullying.

What students should know:

• Never give out personal information online.
• There can be consequences to what you post online (jobs, college, personal).
• You do not always know to whom you are talking.
• Your messages can be re-broadcast to others.
• Tell an adult immediately if you receive a threatening, harassing, or upsetting message.

Although much of the education can and should be done at home (or in your chapter!) there is also a role for schools to play. Find out what your school policy is and what they do to educate students on appropriate behavior.

According to Pew Research, about one-third (32 percent) of all teenagers who use the internet say they have been targets of some form of cyber bullying that ranged from receiving threatening messages, having their private emails or text messages forwarded, to having an embarrassing picture posted or rumors about them spread online.

The cyber world is not going to go away so let's make sure it brings more benefit than harm into our kids' lives.

What schools should do:

• Add cyber bullying to existing anti-harassment or bullying policies.
• Provide training and education for students, teachers and parents.
• Take cyber bullying seriously.

Here are some resources to get more information on cyber bullying:

• Responding to Cyber Bullying
• Stopping Text Bullies
• iSafe
• Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use
• NetSmartz